Funny Birthday jokes

funny birthday jokes

Thanks for choosing this database of funny birthday jokes! Surely, you can buy the hearts of some people by sending them sentimental, moving and poetic birthday wishes. However, these are not for everybody. I, personally, just like many other people, always prefer a good joke. And no, I do not think that replacing a birthday wish with a few funny lines is impolite or even insulting. Quite to the contrary, I believe it says just as much: it shows that that you care about the person whose birthday it is, it shows that you want to see him laughing and in the end, it shows you know better than to write him sentimental poems.
Besides, there is yet another reason why I believe that in many cases funny birthday jokes are better than wishes and verses. As you know, for a lot of people birthday is not all about fun, joy and celebration. On this day of a year they start feeling old and in many cases unaccomplished (even if this has nothing to do with reality). When this happens, they do not need somebody to make them think about the meaning of life, preciousness of health, passing time and similar stuff. They need some good birthday jokes to cheer them up!

Q: What goes up and never comes down? A: Your age!

Q: What is a meaning of a true friend? A: One who remembers your birthday but not your age!

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said I needed an upgrade.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake... You still chase women, but only downhill.

Little Jimmy was shouting out a prayer for his birthday. “Please God, all I want for my birthday is a new X-Box. Thank you.”

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings."

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play? A: Musical Hares!

Q: What is the left side of a birthday cake? A: The side that's not eaten.

David’s wife is mad at him because he forgot her birthday. David saves his skin. ‘Sweetheart,’ he says. ‘How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?’

“I’d like to bring all my high school buddies to the party,” said George, “but I don’t want to get arrested.”

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, “And tomorrow — tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my -90th- birthday!!”

Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.

I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.

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